


Testing the Bonds

by ladynox



Category: Captain America (2011)
Genre: Coming Out, Community: capkinkmeme, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-24
Updated: 2011-09-24
Packaged: 2017-10-25 17:33:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/272949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladynox/pseuds/ladynox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During the war, Bucky discovers that Steve's gay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Testing the Bonds

**Author's Note:**

> Written for this [prompt](http://capkink.livejournal.com/810.html?thread=47146#t47146) on the [Cap kinkmeme](http://capkink.livejournal.com/).

“BuckyIcanexplain,” Steve said far too quickly, blue eyes wide, cheeks flushed with embarrassment and fading arousal. The young man that Steve had just been playing tonsil hockey with squirmed out from between Steve and the wall, running off. Bucky vaguely recognized him as a bar patron that Steve had struck up a conversation with while Bucky beat the other Commandos at cards.

“Seems pretty cut and dry to me,” Bucky replied, still trying to work his jaw off the floor. Since they were inLondon, had been in a bar filled with women, Steve couldn’t blame it on soldiers looking for comfort. That fella wasn’t even a serviceman!

Steve looked like he wasn’t sure whether to move closer to Bucky or to put more space between them. Thankfully, Steve was the type to face things head on so he quit dithering soon enough. But also he deflated entirely.

“You’re right,” Steve said, despondently.

There was a long pregnant pause. It’d been a very long time since Steve and Bucky were ever this uncomfortable around each other. The last time it happened, they were kids still feeling out each other, seeing if they could be friends. Thus they made mistakes with each other, said or did the wrong thing, and had some fights. That hadn’t happened in years, Bucky forgot how to handle it.

It was hard to tease out what was more unreal--the discomfort, Steve kissing another man, or the precipices their relationship was suddenly standing on.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Bucky finally asked.

Steve gave a mirthless laugh. “Are you kidding me?”

Bucky shook his head. He supposed Steve had a point.

“Look, I’ll understand if you don’t want to have anything to do with—“ Steve began but Bucky cut him off.

“Don’t be an idiot,” Bucky snapped back.

“Bucky—“

“No, wait.” Bucky held up his hand for Steve to stop talking. For all the years of taking care of Steve and being the supportive, older brother type, he still could never quite do the emotional stuff well.

“Look, this may not be your brightest idea ever,” Bucky began, pulling off his hat so he could scratch his head. Not that Steve was known for his bright ideas. Talking back to guys twice his size surely was the greatest example. But this… there was no way he could really be happy like this? No one would let him be.

Bucky sighed. “But I’m kind of use to you taking the long hard road approach to life. And, you know, having your back.”

He heard Steve’s sigh of relief. “Bucky, I…”

“Are you sure?” Bucky asked instead of letting him finish. “About this.” He gestured vaguely at the alley as if it somehow represented homosexuality.

“Since I was little,” Steve replied. They were looking at each other again. Finally. Both still uncomfortable and worried but it was better than just a few minutes ago.

It was Bucky’s turn to sigh. “And I wasted all that time setting up double dates.”

“The evenings weren’t entirely unpleasant,” Steve said, stepping closer to Bucky.

It was an instinctual reaction. “I ain’t like that!”

Steve stepped back immediately, hands up. “That’s not what I meant, Buck. I know you’re not.” There was that sad look again, but this one was different. The vestiges of ancient longing. “Not like me.”

Bucky felt like a jerk and he wasn’t entirely sure it had all to do with snapping at Steve. But he focused on what he did know, and that was that Steve would never hurt him. Hell, they’ve shared beds together before multiples times. Not once did Steve ever try to… cuddle.

But Bucky was positive that even though he knew better, the next time they shared a bed he was going to worry about cuddling. He looked at Steve who was looking like he lost the world. Right then and there, Bucky knew their friendship would survive because even though Steve was… well what he was, Bucky was still more concerned about hurting Steve’s feelings.

“I’m sorry. I guess I’m going to need a little time...” Bucky began, which really didn’t do much to assuage Steve’s fears. “Really Steve, it’s okay. It’s weird. But it doesn’t change anything about us. I mean, apparently this is something you’ve decided on a long time ago. So it’s been part of who you are for all that time I’ve known you, and you’re still my best guy. Can’t imagine you’d change all that much now that I know.”

“No, I’m still me,” he said earnestly.

“And I’m still your friend,” Bucky replied. He reached out for Steve, almost hesitantly before he told himself to man up. This needed to be done. Couldn’t say he was still Steve’s friend and refuse to touch him. When Bucky rested his hand on Steve’s shoulder, he felt all the tension leave Steve’s body.

Idiot.

They both were.

“Thank you, Bucky,” Steve said.

“Let’s just get another pint,” Bucky replied, leading Steve back towards the pub. “And get to teaching you about discretion.”

Bucky couldn’t help smile in satisfaction at Steve’s flush.

Fin.


End file.
